Omtweezod is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart hippopotamus.

Omtweezod created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtweezod, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Omtweezod, she will throw large rocks at you.

Omtweezod's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Omtweezod's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never wear turquoise boots.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.