Cemhatsand is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful naga.

Cemhatsand created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemhatsand, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cemhatsand, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Cemhatsand's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cemhatsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near otters.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Worship no other gods but Cemhatsand.