Wapyesttarg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish clam.

Wapyesttarg created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapyesttarg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wapyesttarg, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Wapyesttarg's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Wapyesttarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

2. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Do not chop down trees.