Beststermab is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, all-powerful snake.

Beststermab created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Beststermab, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Beststermab, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Beststermab's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Beststermab's Holy Commandments

1. Beststermab loves rats, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect four nickel sculptures of Beststermab on top of important buildings.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Never skip in the presence of sheep.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.