Futflan Babfarnhab is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate fairy.

Futflan Babfarnhab created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futflan Babfarnhab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Futflan Babfarnhab, he will laugh at you.

Futflan Babfarnhab's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Futflan Babfarnhab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Futflan Babfarnhab.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not speak about onions.