Bepkarran is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic squirrel.

Bepkarran created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepkarran, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bepkarran, she will turn you into a mouse.

Bepkarran's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bepkarran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never wear fawn shorts.