Bonkdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless squid.

Bonkdiss created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkdiss, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bonkdiss, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bonkdiss' most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bonkdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.