Tipzankarfum is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, fast jellyfish.

Tipzankarfum created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipzankarfum, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tipzankarfum, it will send you a sign.

Tipzankarfum's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tipzankarfum's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry manatees.

2. Always obey Tipzankarfum's priests.

3. Retreat if nine rats approach from the south.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.