Sitarmhim is a god.

He takes the form of a small, all-knowing whale.

Sitarmhim created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitarmhim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sitarmhim, he will send you a sign.

Sitarmhim's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sitarmhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to sheep while wearing red scarves.

2. Never sit near ducks.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sitarmhim.

5. Never write about comets.