Bastvinleg is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered jaguar.

Bastvinleg created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastvinleg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bastvinleg, she will turn you into a worm.

Bastvinleg's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bastvinleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Erect six iron sculptures of Bastvinleg on top of important buildings.