Rotmabzen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unselfish dugong.

Rotmabzen created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Rotmabzen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rotmabzen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Rotmabzen's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Rotmabzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Rotmabzen's name in vain.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never mention capybaras.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rotmabzen.