Mumquafbud is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, fussy chinchilla.

Mumquafbud created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Mumquafbud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mumquafbud, he will turn you into a goat.

Mumquafbud's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Mumquafbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Put Mumquafbud first in all things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Never laugh in the presence of whales.