Bedkincin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, competent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bedkincin created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedkincin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bedkincin, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bedkincin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bedkincin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. You must love Bedkincin.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never think ill of sick gulls.