Pinflantom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest lizard.

Pinflantom created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinflantom, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pinflantom, it will try to impress you with trees.

Pinflantom's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Pinflantom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick seals.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pinflantom.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.