Tomtonktan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, vain tapir.

Tomtonktan created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomtonktan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tomtonktan, she will turn you into a tree.

Tomtonktan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tomtonktan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mice.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. You must love Tomtonktan.