Fembastnib is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awe-inspiring dugong.

Fembastnib created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fembastnib, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fembastnib, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fembastnib's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fembastnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Never talk about capybaras.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.