Witpomstragpigfed is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless goblin.

Witpomstragpigfed created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Witpomstragpigfed, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Witpomstragpigfed, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Witpomstragpigfed's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Witpomstragpigfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest cyan.

2. Never think ill of sick frogs.

3. Never sing in the presence of badgers.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never wear green kilts.