Tailwatbot Cutmonyim is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, merciful jaguar.

Tailwatbot Cutmonyim created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailwatbot Cutmonyim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tailwatbot Cutmonyim, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tailwatbot Cutmonyim's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tailwatbot Cutmonyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always wear magenta.