Nurtdunbif is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, selfish gerbil.

Nurtdunbif created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdunbif, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtdunbif, it will cry a lot.

Nurtdunbif's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nurtdunbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.