Baphotmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, contented mole.

Baphotmeg created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baphotmeg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Baphotmeg, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Baphotmeg's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Baphotmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always help great tits.

4. Never paint your back violet.

5. Respect your elders.