Kadquafget is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless shrew.

Kadquafget created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Kadquafget, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kadquafget, it will turn you into a mole.

Kadquafget's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Kadquafget's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention eagles.

2. Kadquafget loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.