Xenfomvog is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish hippopotamus.

Xenfomvog created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Xenfomvog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xenfomvog, he will turn you into a sheep.

Xenfomvog's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Xenfomvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not hurt swans.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.