Kabspagfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic guinea pig.

Kabspagfarn created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabspagfarn, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kabspagfarn, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kabspagfarn's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Kabspagfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

2. You must love Kabspagfarn.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide from blue grasshopers for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.