Bedtiptik Kontarbaf Damflatgudflag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, witless manatee.

Bedtiptik Kontarbaf Damflatgudflag created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedtiptik Kontarbaf Damflatgudflag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bedtiptik Kontarbaf Damflatgudflag, he will remove you from existence.

Bedtiptik Kontarbaf Damflatgudflag's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bedtiptik Kontarbaf Damflatgudflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never wear mauve trousers.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.