Quatkemmitgabbat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy mongoose.

Quatkemmitgabbat created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatkemmitgabbat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quatkemmitgabbat, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quatkemmitgabbat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Quatkemmitgabbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never feed peas to frogs while wearing indigo scarves.

5. Fast once a month.