Mapvinmap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless raven.

Mapvinmap created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapvinmap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mapvinmap, he will destroy your home solar system.

Mapvinmap's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Mapvinmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Never feed grapes to otters while wearing blue shirts.

3. Never eat bark.

4. You must pray to Mapvinmap nine times a day.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.