Kemtifmil is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, irritating ferret.

Kemtifmil created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtifmil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kemtifmil, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kemtifmil's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Kemtifmil's Holy Commandments

1. Kemtifmil loves geese, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.