Queeghomjap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, sage squid.

Queeghomjap created dark energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Queeghomjap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Queeghomjap, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Queeghomjap's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Queeghomjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never feed turnips to capybaras while wearing green trousers.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.