Budguport is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless squirrel.

Budguport created the Cigar Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Budguport, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Budguport, it will turn you into a frog.

Budguport's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Budguport's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide if five nematodes approach from the south.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Budguport on top of all buildings.

5. Do not jump in public.