Watcussyest is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, dishonest monkey.

Watcussyest created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Watcussyest, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Watcussyest, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Watcussyest's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Watcussyest's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five bats approach from the south.

2. Never eat bread.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Watcussyest.