Kemarflistkonvensatfarbass Vigbadjab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciless porpoise.

Kemarflistkonvensatfarbass Vigbadjab created the Sunflower Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Kemarflistkonvensatfarbass Vigbadjab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kemarflistkonvensatfarbass Vigbadjab, she will destroy your home planet.

Kemarflistkonvensatfarbass Vigbadjab's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Kemarflistkonvensatfarbass Vigbadjab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not hurt dolphins.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Never feed cherries to snails while wearing purple ear rings.