Zigflabyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, two-faced armadillo.

Zigflabyarl created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigflabyarl, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Zigflabyarl, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Zigflabyarl's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Zigflabyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Zigflabyarl's name in vain.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about black holes.