Quartbitjin Xemtikkop is a god.
She takes the form of a large, annoying bat.
Quartbitjin Xemtikkop created energy three billion years ago.
If you believe in Quartbitjin Xemtikkop, she will be surprised.
If you do not believe in Quartbitjin Xemtikkop, she will turn you into a slug.
Quartbitjin Xemtikkop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.
Quartbitjin Xemtikkop's Holy Commandments
1. Never pour water over plants.
2. Always help porpoises.
3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.
4. Never sing near bats.
5. Put Quartbitjin Xemtikkop first in all things.