Ranyimcattailcimrip Bennigart is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent guinea pig.

Ranyimcattailcimrip Bennigart created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranyimcattailcimrip Bennigart, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ranyimcattailcimrip Bennigart, he will not care.

Ranyimcattailcimrip Bennigart's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Ranyimcattailcimrip Bennigart's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never hurt tortoises.

3. Never paint your face red.

4. Never skip near gulls.

5. Ranyimcattailcimrip Bennigart loves doves, so they must be honoured.