Bestappdun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic elephant.

Bestappdun created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bestappdun, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bestappdun, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bestappdun's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Bestappdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never run in the presence of pigs.