Tagbutcussartbab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome wren.

Tagbutcussartbab created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagbutcussartbab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagbutcussartbab, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tagbutcussartbab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tagbutcussartbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green tights.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Retreat if four dogs approach from the east.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never go into white rooms.