Bigxemten is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, conceited ant.

Bigxemten created time and space three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigxemten, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bigxemten, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bigxemten's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bigxemten's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Bigxemten on top of all buildings.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Retreat if four doves approach from the south.

5. Never talk about nebulae.