Kopfumlop is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, clever salamander.

Kopfumlop created parasitic wasps three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopfumlop, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kopfumlop, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kopfumlop's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Kopfumlop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

2. Always help voles.

3. Always treat dogs with great respect.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Respect your elders.