Sogsinab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witty hare.

Sogsinab created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sogsinab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sogsinab, he will turn you into a rat.

Sogsinab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sogsinab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sogsinab.

5. Never feed lots of carrots to voles while wearing mauve boots.