Tipyikcid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, annoying octopus.

Tipyikcid created humanity three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipyikcid, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tipyikcid, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tipyikcid's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tipyikcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.