Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, pitiless snail.

Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit, he will turn you into a puffin.

Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill geese.

2. Always obey Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit's priests.

3. You must pray to Jabmegkinwegpignanjamsit four times a day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.