Janmadlim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, boastful meerkat.

Janmadlim created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janmadlim, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Janmadlim, he will turn you into a frog.

Janmadlim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Janmadlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Janmadlim's name in vain.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near otters while wearing orange trousers and balancing four zinc spheres on your feet.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.