Kopcadkem is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witty shark.

Kopcadkem created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Kopcadkem, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kopcadkem, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kopcadkem's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kopcadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue foxes for they are unholy.

2. Never paint your legs green.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.