Bignarlvin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain salamander.

Bignarlvin created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bignarlvin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bignarlvin, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bignarlvin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bignarlvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. You must never eat peas.