Hantofmip is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, self-confident frog.

Hantofmip created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hantofmip, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hantofmip, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hantofmip's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hantofmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hantofmip.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hantofmip must be the most important thing in your life.