Parknegtetti is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, impressive squid.

Parknegtetti created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parknegtetti, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parknegtetti, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Parknegtetti's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Parknegtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about spacetime near ducks while wearing mauve trousers.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Never pour water over plants.