Rullkarpomlin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, amazing snail.

Rullkarpomlin created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullkarpomlin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rullkarpomlin, he will destroy your home solar system.

Rullkarpomlin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Rullkarpomlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Rullkarpomlin's name in vain.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never run near eagles.

5. Pray towards the east.