Yaklencap is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, prudent narwhal.

Yaklencap created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yaklencap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yaklencap, she will turn you into a duck.

Yaklencap's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yaklencap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near monkeys while wearing mauve boots and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Always treat goats with great respect.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yaklencap.

4. Always help tortoises.

5. Never think about spacetime near snails while wearing orange jumpers and balancing three copper spheres on your face.