Pigmigmitwanquagfom is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-confident tortoise.

Pigmigmitwanquagfom created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Pigmigmitwanquagfom, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pigmigmitwanquagfom, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pigmigmitwanquagfom's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Pigmigmitwanquagfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about spacetime near dogs while wearing violet trousers and balancing eight silicon spheres on your hands.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Do not hurt ants.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.