Lentabomin Arftaffly is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous toad.

Lentabomin Arftaffly created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lentabomin Arftaffly, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lentabomin Arftaffly, it will turn you into a mouse.

Lentabomin Arftaffly's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Lentabomin Arftaffly's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Lentabomin Arftaffly.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Do not take Lentabomin Arftaffly's name in vain.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about comets.